Generosity is a Setting
If you read my last post about free drinks, you’ll like this story from my favorite fictitious president, Jed Bartlet from West Wing. He shares a similar kind of memory while lamenting the joyful (but often confounding) life as a father of daughters.
"We had a guide once, a Bedouin man, who called me ‘Abu el Banat.’ The Bedouin would laugh and laugh and then offer me a cup of tea. And I’d go and pay them for the tea, and they wouldn’t let me. ‘Abu el Banat’ means ‘father of daughters.'" Then sarcastically, he says, “They thought the tea was the least they could do.”
I always found this story amusing and not at all unlikely. What’s under that story is a sense of generosity, understanding and empathy around a particular role in life.
Recently, I had a “Bedouin” experience that I wish I could share with President Bartlet - so I’ll share it with you.
My car was in the shop, so I took an Uber to my lunch meeting. Because it was a beautiful afternoon, crisp and sunny with a little breeze, after lunch I started walking. I headed toward home, knowing that eventually I would have to get in a car for the 3-mile uphill climb. Then I remembered, I’m on Ventura boulevard near Red Window Coffee — a hole-in-the-wall with the best Chai in the city - is a few miles away. This would be my destination.
Sixty minutes and 3.8 eight miles later, my Bedouin journey ended at Red Window with an unknown face greeting me at my every-once-in-a-while spot.
I met Dan, the owner. I told him how I loved his Chai tea and that I came in about once every ten days to get it. He told me that he sourced the Chai from a guy in Australia who brews it by hand and that no one else in America carries it. He explained that it is so well regarded that even people in India, the home of Chai (which literally just means tea in India), get it from him.
Then we talked about family. He has three daughters. I told him about my two and that my eldest just brought home six sorority sisters for spring break. I mentioned it was nice to be out of the house, but I was excited to see them and hear about their adventures.
I reached for my phone to pay and Dan said, “this one’s on me.” As a father of daughters, I imagined him saying, “it’s the least I can do.” But what that exchange really meant was, “you and I are the same, living different lives. Take this tea and keep going, friend.” His generosity touched me.
There is something magical that happens when we’re generous. But we often need the conditions for generosity to take place, and to feel that our own cup is overflowing, first.
If your cup could be fuller and you want to move forward in a new way, whether that’s scaling a business or finding more meaning in your vocation, drop me a note.
I’m starting two separate group coaching sessions in September with brand strategist Amy Swift Crosby - one for young professionals and one for creative entrepreneurs with an eye for meaningful growth. This work is personal and vocational - it merges all our selves into an entity we want to embrace as we move forward.
Let’s see if there’s something to do together.
Find me here or send me an email. Only 6 people per group - so if you’d like a spot - let’s go!
BG
Here's 37 seconds of Steve Kerr being a generous leader. Knowing just how much to give and when. It doesn't take a lot.
And click here to see President Bartlet lament being a "father of daughters." :)
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