Leaving One Shore to Find Another: Part 2
Last week you read about the benefits of a beginner’s mindset. I shared my own (usefully naive) journey from Ohio to Los Angeles, and the benefit of having zero clue when it came to creating a new life in a city known for agents, celebrities, deal makers and empire builders.
I left you at the point in the story where I wrote my epic “Jerry Maguire” note, one that expressed a vision for myself that didn’t include my current company - which I sent to a woman I barely knew, who would go on to change my life.
That woman was Jen Sincero, who wrote a book called, “You Are a Badass.” Maybe you’ve heard of it. But at the time, I was her first coaching client - the first time she was developing her own strengths at empowering people to see a new future for themselves.
During those 6-months, we worked to figure out what I wanted. Now you may think that an exercise in “what do I want?” is easy - but it’s actually a moment of real honesty. We all say we want “More money. More happiness. (In my case, More Air Jordans!) More job satisfaction.” Etc. But we often don’t get specific and detailed about those broad strokes.
Just allowing for the process of “what do I genuinely want?” was the first time I had given myself the space and time to ask such a hard question. And, importantly, to see how I answered.
These were a few of the questions:
How do I want to feel when I talk about my work?
What aspect of my path have I loved so far?
When have I felt defeated, unseen or disempowered?
When have I felt disgusted by the tactics? Or industry?
Who needs to be there? What kinds of people excite me?
How do I want to feel at the end of a day?
How do I want to feel on a Sunday, looking at Monday?
Answering these was not an overnight process. And it can’t be rushed.
But once I had articulated a vision for myself, I worked with Jen to put the wheels in motion. Together, we birthed a plan to take my vision from paper to reality.
That summer, I stopped working for the “corporation” USA Today, and 90 days later, a deal I made for my first client was mentioned in the “newspaper” USA Today. I loved that irony and validation. Signs have been a big part of my path, and I took that as a good one.
Over the next few years, my company created more than $50 million worth of sponsorship and licensing partnerships, and Jen went on to be a well-known writer - launching an entire genre of irreverent, disarming guidebooks espousing self-love as a strategy for designing a new life.
Unbeknownst to me, I had become an anonymous example in Jen's books, illustrating the power of putting one's heart into action. The impact of our collaboration was revealed to me when Jen recently shared my role in her origin story during a speaking event I attended. I had played a meaningful part in her transformation, just as she had played a pivotal role in mine.
Embracing change requires a willingness to let go of the familiar and trust our instincts. Over three decades ago, I made a spontaneous decision to move to California, following my gut without overthinking the consequences. Had I succumbed to doubt and allowed my young mind to limit my potential, I would have missed out on the extraordinary life that awaited me.
Sometimes I’m pretty grateful that the internet didn’t exist yet - I’m not sure it always serves us in this context.
Of course, the journey since then has not been without its ups and downs. Life is a series of triumphs and setbacks. Yet, armed with the lessons learned alongside Jen and my role as the "hit by a bus" guy (read her first book you will know what I mean), I have persevered.
I have learned that “not knowing” isn’t being lost. It’s the first ingredient on the way to critical information about a future you can’t yet see. So to my question at the top of this note: Do we have to leave one shore behind to find a new one?
Well, at some point, yes.
There are ways to build a bridge until you make the “leap,” but a day will come where you’ll need to make a commitment. And that will involve some risk, some change, some new horizons, conversations or habits.
You’ll know you’re no longer standing on the same shore when you look around and realize that none of the conditions of your current life existed a year ago, 6-months ago - whatever your timeframe may be. And you’ll probably be able to point to the catalyst, too. The rearview mirror is helpful in this way.
So. Are you someone who needs to go from “town to city,” metaphorically speaking? Is something tired or uninspired?
If you could use a dose of externality - someone to assess your current circumstances and help you make sense of what you deeply want, with a path to get there, I have two coaching series this September.
One is for young professionals - those of you who are under 40, plugging away - in the midst of your hussle - who suspect there’s a map that might help your journey.
The other is for creative entrepreneurs who are ready to grow, scale or multiply in some way. You’re a veteran business owner or service provider and you’re ready to hit this one out of the park.
Looking to level up your business, unlock new opportunities, and build stable, sustainable growth?
There’s nothing like the value of a conversation. Let’s talk it through.
Click here to schedule a call.